Monday, November 17, 2008

Stop Workplace Bullying

If you are a US resident please sign the Anti-bullying Healthy Workplace Bill petition.

The petition for British citizens is now closed, as its deadline has passed. Wishing Vicky and all of you across the pond the very best.

If a person shoots another person (target) in the heart and the target dies it is not because the target didn't handle the bullet correctly. It is not the targets fault s/he died due to the bullet in the heart. It's not because the target "gave their power" to the shooter.

I've heard "you should just laugh it off", "life is 10% what happens and 90% how you handle it". Both of those are true for normal pitfalls or annoyances in life. Like getting a flat tire (I'll have to tell you my flat tire story sometime, it was a great day), burning dinner, gaining a few pounds so your favorite jeans aren't comfortable, getting cut off in traffic, having to work all weekend, you see where I'm going here. You don't laugh it off if your mother is murdered right in front of you, if you're severely beaten even though you handle it the best way possible it won't remove the scars.

I'd like to change the name "workplace bullying" to what it really is - workplace terrorism.

When someone says "I'm being bullied" what comes to mind? "Bullied", mean children on a playground taking lunch money, making fun of hair color, freckles? They don't have the power to make the target kid's family do without and they aren't around long enough to cause long term health problems. I'm not saying it isn't horrible but not the right word for adults.

Hi, I'm Mary (not my real name) and I'd like to share my experience with you in a desperate attempt to stop this violence.

I've been at my job since March 2005. There are only two of us in the office which is very unfortunate for me because I have no witnesses. The workplace bully / workplace terrorist's name is Jean (real name, goes by Jeanie). There are two owners, Joe and Marsha (everyone's name has been changed except the terrorist's. Why protect her)? They are out of the office most of the time allowing Jeanie to torment me, knowing that she does. It seems to be entertaining to Marsha. What's ironic is Jeanie completely controls Marsha. She pulls her strings by lying to her and sometimes getting her really upset. While Marsha isn't looking Jeanie grins wickedly at me as if to say "see me control her? Look at her getting all upset not realizing she's being had". Right before Marsha looks Jeanie straightens her face to show a concerned expression. It's quite the performance. After Marsha leaves Jeanie laughs hysterically. I don't look or listen to Jeanie anymore at all which irritates both of them. Jeanie told me a long time ago she doesn't care about Joe's business because Jeanie and a customer had a disagreement once and Joe took the customer's side. The happiest I've ever seen Jeanie was when Joe and Marsha's house was hit by a tornado, Marsha was there by herself scared and Joe was in traffic with several tornadoes popping up trying to get to her. Joe let us know this via cell phone.

Jeanie is a sociopath. I didn't know what that was until I had been there for a while. When I told the owners they asked me very sarcastically if I have a degree in psychology. "What makes you an expert" they said. Profile of the Sociopath (this is exact), Sociopath (dictionary.com), I know, it's called Antisocial Personality Disorder (Mayo Clinic) now. She also has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Mayo Clinic). Laws are what prevent sociopaths from committing other violent crimes. I told them a couple of times how Jeanie treats me, they say they can't understand me (I don't have an accent or speech impediment), laugh it off, they don't remember our conversation. So I wrote them a five page letter explaining her atrocious behavior, how it has hurt me, their business, and their relationship with their only son (they're no longer on speaking terms) and we had a meeting on a Sunday in February, 2007. I strongly suggested they get video cameras in there and they said they would. This came up again in a meeting with the owners, the lady who wrote our Policy and Procedures manual and myself two months ago. I reminded them they said they'd get cameras and they replied with "we will". I guess they meant the year 2035? I also sent them the link to The Workplace Bullying Institute and told them this would help them understand what's going on.

What does she do to me you ask?
  • Since we're networked at the office she'd come onto my computer and delete my Excel formulas, sabotaging hundreds of files that I had to fix.
  • She holds back information I need,
  • has shuffled my paperwork,
  • has yelled at me trying to get me to overcharge people's credit cards,
  • stares at my breasts, butt and crotch (serious crotch, I'm a woman nothing to see here) every time she sees me,
  • yells often, loud enough to physically hurt my ears,
  • steals (she stole materials I was mailing out, next time she tried I caught her and had to physically take them away from her) and steals reports,
  • accuses me of stealing,
  • lies constantly (she even makes up stories about me and tells ME)!
  • Convinced the owners that I don't do much work or anything right, they are out of touch enough to believe her. They know some of what I do now.
  • Put something sticky on my keyboard that lead to my Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, very painful.
  • She must've changed her diet for a couple of weeks so she was really flatulent and would walk back and forth through my office farting, over and over and over.
  • Gets on my computer and visits strange websites, I don't know which ones. Marsha seems to believe it's me, she has someone watch every move we make on the computers and giggles while looking at me saying "I (Marsha) know what goes on in this office". Nothing could be further from the truth.
  • She has snuck up behind me several times looking over my shoulder at my monitor (I could see her reflection in my monitor wearing a very angry expression and smell her bad breath).
  • She put brand new knives on the counter behind me and I seriously considered bringing my loaded gun to work.
  • Tries to get way to close to me physically on a regular basis, I move away quickly and have told her several times I like enough room to stick my elbows out and spin around.
  • Has told me to do things a certain way then yelled "it's only common sense not to do things that way". I was convinced I should do these things this way cause Joe agreed, that was before I knew he doesn't know much about his business.
  • Has freaked out about the smallest obvious typo and the like.
  • Has opened my mail.
  • Scratched my new desk.
  • She's rude, derogatory, condescending, and just plain mean every single day. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.
Those are some of the things I know, plenty of other petty things I didn't mention like intentionally coughing on me when she has a cold. The owners bought me a nice cabinet with a lock and something I could put my computer files on and lock up too. It takes a lot of time moving and hiding files from her and leaves more room for error but I do it because people's lives depend on me doing my job correctly.

Someone said to me not long ago outside of work "you're friends with Jeanie (last name omitted)". I said "uh, we work in the same building". She said "oh you work at Beech High School" I replied "no, (company name omitted)". She talks about going to Beech High School football games often; she's close to 60 years old with no kids, nieces, or nephews in high school. She must go there to stare at the cheerleaders. I figure she got caught trying to sneak a peek into the girls' locker room and told someone she works there so at this point I thought she's most likely a pedophile too. She has also talked about "watching" little girls at church.

Four months later, one of our cleaning ladies who had a one month old baby at the time brought the baby by. Beautiful baby and I was happy to see them both. Seeing Jeanie staring at the baby's (vagina? I don't even know what it's called on a baby) while Robin changed her diaper three times was the last straw for me, now I know she is a pedophile. She stood behind Robin staring at the baby while I was watching her. She barely blinked, and often says "I like 'em little". I went home, called in sick (and boy, was I!) the next day and the following day quietly went in, cleaned out my desk, came home and called the owners and told them I quit. I had severe heart palpitations, upset stomach, and headache. I talked to Marsha who told me they were working on getting rid of Jeanie and were about half way there, that's why they hired the lady to make a Policies and Procedures manual. Marsha also said they'd give me a home office, new desk and everything so I wouldn't have to drive into work. A month later I emailed the owners asking when her last day was, should be coming up. They didn't reply and I knew they chickened out. They say she knows a lot of people and all their financial business and they're worried she'll tell everyone. OK, I was relieved in a way because I don't want Jeanie to get another job where she can hurt even more people especially children.

Our other wonderful cleaning lady, Suzanna, is also made uncomfortable by Jeanie staring inappropriately at her while she's cleaning. Jeanie won't get out of the office and always says "I've been a bad girl, I'm going to stand in the corner" and stares at Suzanna while she's cleaning especially bending over. She's also yelled and screamed at her. Every time people tell me Jeanie has yelled and screamed at them they always mention her weird red blotches she gets on her neck while she's doing it. Not that anyone would say she screamed when she didn't but I know for sure because of the blotch description.

Other people who have witnessed some of Jeanie's behavior include a guy who owns a business I mostly use - she went in there yelling and blotchy. The people who remodeled our office, one of the workers said to me "she really needs to figure out what she's so bitter about and address it". The guy who installed the screen doors wouldn't come back and fix a problem until I called him one day and told him Jeanie wouldn't be in that morning, he was there in twenty minutes. And the people the owners bought the new furniture from.

My biggest long term health problem from this is Periodontal Disease. It's caused by stress, smoking, genes, and/or poor oral hygiene. I have impeccable oral hygiene but the extreme stress has caused me to double my cigarette smoking (from half a pack a day to a whole). My dentist and periodontist are baffled by the advanced stage especially at my age. Last year I had bone graph surgery (4 bone graphs to replace bone lost around my teeth) in all four quarters of my mouth that cost me $4035 co-pay and a molar extracted (doc said it was only adding to the problem though it was a perfectly good tooth). I was happy to have it done though because I got three days off and then the weekend, five whole days away from Jeanie. Three of the graphs went well. I am and will be in pain now every time I eat for the rest of my life. Periodontal Disease can also lead to cardiovascular diseases. I only have dental insurance, can't afford medical too at $200 per month. I only make around $11 per hour (I'm salaried), Jeanie makes much more for doing a very, very small amount of work. I do the work three people used to do. I'm sure a physical would show other ailments like why one of my lungs hurts in one spot. It's so hard for me to sleep I started taking more and more sleeping pills, I take them every night - Unisom maximum strength, I'd take up to five (dosage is one) and one morning last January I woke up with a dislocated shoulder. I did my best to relocate it but now that'll probably hurt me for the rest of my life too. I also have indigestion / heartburn almost every day, heart palpitations (often but not every day), and Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. Mentally, this has made me a lot more cautious of people. Knowing that a person can be as repulsive as she is has made me much less trusting, feel isolated, depressed, spend more time alone, and much less happy in general. I don't look directly at Jeanie anymore, it just disgusts me so much. Sometimes even in the grocery store I wonder if the person next in line is also a terrorist or pedophile and wonder if they trade child porn. I feel like I'm nothing like other people on Earth and have begged God several times to just call me home, I don't belong here.

I know what you're thinking - good grief dummy, get away from there! Well, would I have to face more bullies at a new job since this is all legal? I mentioned before people's lives depend on me. We test people in hazardous work environments, ironically. Years ago I happened to be looking at reports Jeanie did before I took over and noticed she sent reports out without the correct results of the tests. I told her and she laughed and said "oh well". There were others where the results were all mixed up. Were they mistakes or was she trying to kill people? We'll never know.

Could someone please explain to me why slow murder and terrorism is legal as long as it's done in the workplace? It effects 37% of American workers directly, is considered roughly four times more prevalent than sexual harassment, and effects so many more indirectly. Yes witnesses and families of targets, here's another example - Jeanie stole some of the reports that belong to the companies we work for. If they get inspected they will be fined and possibly closed for not having those reports. People own stock in these companies. Most companies she stole from called and the owners re-did the work, I re-did the reports, others didn't seem to notice. Why not? Maybe they have workplace bullying distracting them from their jobs.

"The cost to employers is estimated between $6.4 billion and $36 billion per year in lost productivity, diminished public image, insurance expenses and increased security." From the Charlotte Business Journal. Workplace bullying is detrimental to the economy in this very weak time.

The good that's come from all this for me is:
  • I know, even more then before, how super incredible my husband is! He's so supportive with all this though it has gotten on his nerves.
  • I appreciate my parents so much more for raising me to be strong, courteous, empathetic, companionate, and especially for teaching me right from wrong.
  • I am even more thankful then before for my husband's family (our family) who remind me every time I see or talk to them there are still good people on this planet who know and love me.
  • I'm very proud of myself for my abundance of self control.
  • I'm now great with Excel, I didn't know it at all when I first started working there.
  • I get to work from home (but still feel sick when I have to go to the office one to four times per week).
  • I'm determined to help everyone in this situation now!
I think If they would've just gotten video cameras like they should've at first it would've prevented the last couple of years of torture because sociopaths don't want to be exposed and I would've never known this was a common problem. I think they were too afraid we'd get evidence of her behavior on tape and I would be able to sue for "intentional infliction of emotional distress". Joe said "well she has a mortgage to pay too". He'd be better off paying her to stay at home. Joe said he knows she steals, he came in on a Saturday and caught her, he calls it one of her "shortcomings". He says he loves her, she isn't doing anything illegal, and that I'm "too sensitive". I told him he doesn't know her but he doesn't believe me. He and Marsha make up stupid excuses for her to me but won't let her answer the phone, I think they know they'd have to make up excuses to clients too.

I call it terrorism because I always wonder what she's going to do next. Remember how we all felt right after 9/11/01? That's what it feels like every day. She gets worse and worse though I've always been civil. I think she wants me to sink to her level but I have way too much self respect to act like that. Here's what the owners got for all the money they spent on the Policies and Proceedures author - a piece of paper for me to sign that says "I'll treat others as I expect to be treated". In other words they want me to play these outrageous games too. Is there not enough violence on TV? The author once told Marsha and me about a friend who has an aggressive co-worker and the friend just says "shut-up bitch". I said "can I say shut-up bitch to Jeanie"? They said simultaneously "NO"!

I need your help! The whole world does. This will only get worse if it isn't stopped now.

I hope everyone who lives in the United States will sign this Anti-bullying Healthy Workplace Bill petition. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have signed so far and/or passing the link to your friends! Sorry friends in other countries, I know you're having problems with this too. Hopefully if we get this passed it will give you some leverage where you live.

I know this should go state by state but I want everyone to sign and I'll send it to the Whitehouse, State Senators, State Governors, Congresspeople, Legislators, Representatives, the US Surgeon General, and every Lawmaker I can find.

Please feel free to post any questions or comments, I'm here to help. I believe this is why God hasn't called me home, He has a job for me here.

Peace and Love,
Mary

PS - I'm usually a little more articulate, I was really trying to keep this short.


11 comments:

  1. Mary,

    I want to be a soldier in this fight with you. I want to do whatever I can to spread the word. I have an email address especially for the work I would like to do on this topic. It is expectmoreacceptless@hotmail.com

    Please feel free to contact me so that we can discuss further some of the ideas I have and possibly collaborate. If you are like me and you are an overachiever, I truly believe that this could be big.

    Lawanda

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  2. Hi Lawanda!

    Thank you so much! I am looking so forward to working with you! This is the beginning of a mighty team! :-)

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  3. Hello Mary,

    Wish you all the best for your fight...

    This is Priya from SezWho here. I am writing to know your feedback and/or suggestions regarding the SezWho plug-in and how we can make SezWho a better user experience.

    Your feedback is important to us.

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    Priya
    priya@sezwho.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Priva!

    Thank you so much for the best wishes!

    I think SezWho is really cool, interactivity is great! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Mary,

    I certainly agree with you about the term "Bullying." It really doesn't fit for sufferers and targets, but as you may know it's a phrase that was coined a decade ago and it stuck. For me, it has negative connotations in that sufferers are often & more easily labeled "weak," because as adults, we should all know how to handle schoolyard bullies which the term connotes or reminds us of. Those of us who suffer on a regular basis from these predatory actions know we are anything but weak. These predators are generally sociopathic, incompetent, insecure, and lack maturity. Victims or Targets of these predators are generally their opposites in many ways. Predators hate competent people, especially if they are in a position of power, and they hate those of us that have a strong sense of justice, ethics and morals since we're the ones that are most likely to discover their faults and they will go to any lengths to keep you from exposing them. They are more than bullies. They are worse, much worse. Adult predators have had years of practice at honing their craft and charm and have learned all the tricks to protect themselves and all the tricks to harm you. Their employers most often protect them since they want to escape any chance of damages and liability at all costs should a target take any sort of formal action. In my particular case the employer has no less than 3 attorneys fighting against me and I am suffering from Complex and regular PTSD with overlapping symptoms. Psychic injuries like this have distinctive markers, behaviors, and symptoms. Many studies have shown the symptom clusters to be more akin to sufferers of rape and domestic violence. But, for us, there are no laws protecting us from extreme and outrageous behavior in the workplace, and the current qualifications in the American Psychiatric Associations manual, the DSM IV, for post tramatic stress disorder cannot be met by most victims of workplace predators and their actions. Ironically, one study with a sample of 165 care professionals found that 92% of participants were found to have PTSD informally and that the magnitude of the symptoms of these bullied employees was higher "than train drivers who had run over suicidal individuals and similar to those of rape victums" who would qualify for the diagnosis. To say this is a serious problem is an understatement! For those of us who have a strong sense of justice, the pain can be limitless.

    We should all have a right in the workplace to be free from interference to do our jobs - which is why we were hired. We should be protected from those who mean us harm and constantly undermime and sabotage our ability to get that work done. These predators are generally well aware of workers who have protected status' and are often careful not to breach those lines, but these same predators have nothing to stop them from harming you psychologically if they feel threathened by your competence or anything that might expose them. Generally, there are no witnesses and when there are, they are generally "their" witness, or someone who looks up to the predator and shares their same sickness. Often times, this type of personality "gets off" on watching people squirm and are impressed by how artfully the predator inflicts their punishment "legally." Sometimes, in larger companies, employees are "broken-in" like horses, and eventually accept their abuse unknowingly, but victums do often confide in one another and acknowledge this "culture of fear they work in," but by this time they are generally conditioned to just keep their mouths shut for fear of retaliation.

    Since there are no adequate protections under the law (not in this country, anyway), what are victims to do? You can file a suit for Intentional or Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress. You can file Workers Compensation for Cummulative Stress. You can file all sorts of state and Federal claims against your employer. You can even file a Small claims action for emotional distress, but good luck with any of these, because the cards almost always fall in favor of the predator. Just imagine all the predators who had rape cases and domestic violence charges thrown out 30 years ago, even though we won't stand for it today. It was common place then. Well, it's my opinion that victims of psychological violence (and yes, it is violence - and there are empirical data to back it up) today are in the same situation as those victims were then. We are often abandoned to deal with it on our own and may never fully recover. Until there are changes in the laws, until the DSM IV is changed, until violence is redefined, and until more therapists are trained and certified to deal with these injuries, most of us will have to find a way to carry the burden on our own. If our injuries are extreme and we have persistant damaging symptoms, we must seek help before they worsen and damage our families or ultimately cost us our lives. There are resources out there, but good ones are hard to find and can cause great hardships if we don't have some way of offsetting the costs, but I am convinced we can not do it alone. Psychic injuries are unique to other kinds of psychological conditions in that you don't just "get over it" and they worsen over time if not treated properly. Many endogenous conditions are treatable, and fairly easily. Again, not all, but many. But injuries fester insidiously and a lack of justice, understanding, and the right treatment can lead to the total destruction of ones sense of self, complete hopelessness and ultimately suicide, especially where there is no support system.

    When your anger over deliberate acts of harm become rage, one must seek out qualified help or it may eventually destroy everything and everyone around you. It has been my experience that psychic injuries have some distinct qualities.

    1) Their pain can strike unexpectedly, suddenly, and slap you in the face at any time.
    2) If good support, beyond a supportive loved one, cannot be found they lead to an irrational loss of trust in anyone.
    3) Avoidance behaviors, isolation & numbing reach highs we have never experienced before.
    4) Rage becomes the primary impetus of unexpected attacks of anxiety and pain.
    5) Hypervigilence, anxiety attacks upon waking (startled), and exagerated startle responses were not present before the injury - ever.
    6) Feeling ineffective or that nobody understands you.
    7) Your sense of self gets lost or you feel shattered, broken, or are in pieces you can't put back together no matter how hard you try.
    8) Difficulty in locating the emotions involved with the injury, they are repressed.
    9) All of the above feel and are foreign to you as you were prior to the injury, and are absolutley unlike anything you've experienced before. You keep asking yourself the question "what happened to me,?" or "Why does it hurt so bad?"
    (10)We often work compulsively to figure this thing out or to seek out help and justice until we are exhausted, then start all over again.

    I am no expert on this subject, so please don't take any of this as professional advice. I am a victim of it and am only reflecting off my own experience up to this point. I have found that writing about it is one of the best ways to try and put it to rest. Being pro-active helps give me back my sense of self and is a positive and healthy way of managing anger and reducing symptoms. If anyone relates strongly here, I would recommend to at least do your best to get some professional help. Try to get some medications to control depression and anxiety. They do not fix the problem, but can make many of the symptoms more managable while you try to find competent help and work through it. Buy The PTSD Workbook by Mary Beth Williams, Ph.D. and use what helps. Look at any and all publications dealing with the subject - there are quite a few.

    People who have never experienced an intentional psychic injury are likely to never understand how you feel. This can be proven by the fact that we cannot understand it at all in the beginning ourselves. We simply have no concept of it, nor could conceive of such a thing, no matter what past emotional problems we've been through and have dealt with. The experience distinctly feels new to us and we may even entertain the thought that we need a Shaman to "excise" this demon from us.

    The Heathly Workplace Bill may not be the perfect answer, but in the beginning of anything political it's never perfect, but it is a step in the right direction. Everyone, please support this bill. It's just a few clicks and you're done. Without it, these problems will only get worse, and the costs are incalculable.

    Thanks for your time,

    Post Traumatic -

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  6. Hi posttraumatic!

    I agree with every single word. I haven't read the book though; if I get one it'll be the one you recommended.

    So well put, you explained it exactly. You understand and other people who come across this will know they're not alone. I really can't thank you enough. Thank you so much!

    I'm so sorry you're going through this too but please know you're helping others who might not survive without you. AND we understand you too, we are all in this together.

    Sincerely,

    Mary

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  7. Thanks Mary,

    After re-reading what I wrote above I noticed several gramatical errors that I hope people can figure out on their own and please overlook. Like you stated, I too am generally more articulate & am not used to making these kinds of mistakes. Again, this is just another symptom as it did not exist prior to my injuries. It also demonstrates what can have serious implications in any kind of formal or legal actions if the victums symptoms get in the way of producing an effective defense - often the case.

    I had an idea yesterday that I plan to run by the bills author. For those of us who file Workers Compensation, as I did, and are subject to every kind of scrutiny under the sun, are vulnerable to secondary injuries, and WILL have their attorney's toy and twist anything and everything they can into their favor, it only makes sense to me that their should be some kind of guidelines that open the predator to the same kind of scrutiny. Why should they be allowed to kick back and have to do or worry about nothing?

    It only seems fair that when the case is extreme and that an employee does not feel safe to return at any time (especially when the predator escapes any kind of punishment), that something should kick-in requiring the predator to under go psychiatric evaluation, an opening of their history and records, and be subject to a deposition just like their victums, before any final determination is made. Doesn't this seem fair? The current rules are so lopp-sided that it most certainly will add to the targets suffering. And, since the last thing a predator wants is to be revealed for what they really are, wouldn't a change in the rules make it less likely for them to commit their cowardly acts in the first place? If a predator knows they will or may be subject the same evaluation as their victums I imagine they won't even try it in the first place. It only seems fair to me, don't you think?

    Anyway, I will contact him and see if I can get his feedback and pursue whatever action I can.

    Finally, with regards to what I wrote above I urge those who read this blog to google workplace bullying and read some of the reports and data that's out there, try to understand how serious this is, and support this bill. I know there is little to convince anyone of the EXTREME nature of the damages that can occur as a result of adult bullying until it actually happens to you, but I think we can all agree that no one should be able to intentionally and legally harrass anyone in any way that effects the quality of our work and our sanity on a regular basis that results in any kind of real distress. Employers pay us to do a job which we all gladly do, but having to also swallow a bunch of toxic waste on a regular basis is never part of that deal. Smart employers with deal with troublemakers quickly and effectively since a healthy workplace is ALWAYS in their best interest.

    Sincerely,

    Posttraumatic -

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  8. Hiya Posttraumatic,

    Totally understandable, no worries on grammatical errors. I agree about the defense, that'll change though once people understand what this is, or at least have guidelines in writing.

    Great idea to write to the bill's author! Doctors can actually see on an MRI a sociopath's "reward" part of the brain highlight when shown pain infliction, or it might be an fMRI. I'm looking for where I read that exactly, will post it when I find it again. Yes, it does seem fair to investigate them as much as the target. Current rules are lopp-sided as they used to be with rape. I remember when a rape victim was blamed for the act of violence because of what she was wearing (like a mini skirt). I do think the threat of the same evaluation would be a huge deterrent for the bully, the same way I think being sued for their actions will prevent this violence. Just being questioned isn't enough though, sociopaths are so convincing they can pass polygraphs, but it'll be obvious with an MRI, they can't fake that. Thank you for contacting the author and all you're doing!

    Yes, yes, I agree wholeheartedly with the last of your post too.

    Your friend,

    Mary

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  9. Hi guys,
    now and them i come across these blogs because i have been through much of what has been said. i agree with all. i have gotten a email from an author who wanted to do my story, but she was unwilling to submit a contract. i have learned that many folks will want to make money off the suffering of those who lived the experience. that only leads to more discouragement. i'm a christian and therefore i pray always and get the answers that i need. also; i have become a little more sensitive to recognize the same symtoms of others who are going through the process. that alone makes its uneasy because unless they are strenghtened to take a stand on their behalf without support-guidance, they to will become an injuried victim. i don't go out to survey or anything like that, however, i'm not ashamed to share my experience. one of the answer that i have come up with is to ebay pages of my story. if a playwriter etc. finds it interesting, than they can pay for it. i'm not trying to get a nation story or anything like that. but at least i can think of it as income. i also wanted to get a grant to publish my oun story, but those aren't available. what i have done so far with what little money i had is to start a business to help raise funding to help our future victims. my bulling case is filed in circuit court, (being buried under the atmospheric dust). my attorney filed a ninety-four dollar law suit againt my employors. he said he couldn't finish because he had been getting threats. he was one of the last persons that was willing to put his education into action and was punked out. there are many ways that leigistrators can deal with our problems, but they chose not to assist. i believe there is a purpose for the change in our laws. since i believe karma is a b---h!, charity starts at home. until it is realized that a little leaven, leavens the whole lump, our country will continued to be bullied by selfishness from other countries and eventually our homeland which is the rat affect. just example of how ecconomy and all kinds of storms arrive, bulling is one that can be contained. i have to admit that if our own yards are cleaned, i do we justify others that harm us? what a puzzle. bullies need to be bought ot justice. www.moms4ourkids.com please keep us updated.

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  10. Sorry to say, I too am a target of bullying in my workplace and I work for a governmental agency. I have been physical shoved, belittled in front of 50 plus people also had my work changed by my boss to look like I am not doing my job correctly and my coworkers have been told to not talk to me and to also give me a hard time. I applied for another job and did not get the job due to my boss giving a bad recommendation. I am always being asked if I have found another job yet and where have I applied they also have extended my probation..you get the picture I am a single parent and have told I have two weeks to turn in my resignation" They did that so I could not collect unemployment benefits"....I feel all alone!!!!

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  11. Hi yuhavinit1!

    I totally agree with people wanting to make money off of targets. I've seen it too and they get really angry at people who are actually trying to help create laws to prevent workplace bullying. They target the targets because they don't know that the targets are the strong ones. Bullies always manage to turn things around in the eyes of the ignorant, for instance, my bully sabotaged my work and has the owners convinced I sabotaged hers (I think).

    A movie about this would be so great! I pray it happens soon.

    Great, great job raising funds for future victims!

    Yep, I can see the threats, I've had some myself. I laugh, "go ahead, make my day". If they had any idea what I've been through they'd be afraid of me.

    I believe with you my friend. Thank you so much for your input and support!

    (huggers)

    Mary
    _______________________________

    Hi Anonymous!

    God bless your heart. Please don't feel alone, you're not, not by a long shot. I've heard many times of people having a hard time getting another job because of bad recommendations too. As much as I despise lying, unfortunately sometimes you sort of have to (in my opinion). Don't put that job on your resume. Make up some reason for your "time of unemployment". Then pray for forgiveness. I wish had better advice but until more people get a mental grasp, until it's common knowledge… I don't know what else to do.

    Stay strong honey, K? You'll make it through. (huggers to you too!)

    Your friend,

    Mary

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